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     Is your ass clean? 
    Before getting with a girl/boy you need to wash all the appropriate areas and the main question to tackle is the smell of your undies. The thing to do before however is know how much shit you produce per day...

    When you wake up what do you eat?
    A glass of cold milk because you don't have much time.
    Warm milk. You have all the time you need. You skip.
    Stewed peppers...the ones mum makes

    How do you get to school?
    By bus.
    I don't go because I have to skip and sleep.
    I go in a friend's car. it takes us five minutes!

    If you get thirsty at school, what do you drink?
    A coffee
    I don't go to school.
    I get milk but realize only after having finished it that it's gone off.

    If you get hungry at school what do you eat?
    Mum's sweet pepper stew left-overs
    How think are you? I don't go to school.
    A bar of chocolate that's gone bad.

    If you need to take a shit at school but there's no paper what do you do?
    I go and take a shit and wipe my ass on the term's report cards
    I don't go to school but I'd take a shit anyway just to be part of the stinky gang.
    I don't realize but as soon as my teacher gives me my test results I shit myself.

    When did you last shit yourself?
    When I got my results.
    What am I going to do with a dirty report card?
    When I was 3 or 4.

    When did you last change your underwear?
    I don't wear them.
    Yesterday after I shat myself.

    In the evening you open your fridge. What do you find?
    Mum's stewed sweet pepper left-overs with flys around.
    Gone-off milk and a wormy apple.
    i can't be bothered to get up and check. I'd rather die of starvation.

    What do you drink to satisfy your thirst?
    Cold Milk
    Coca Cola

    Count the flys around you. How many are there?

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