You see an old lady with heavy shopping bags trying to get to the front door. You:
You lighten her load by stealing her shopping and just as you're already there, you steal her pension money.
Ti offri di aiutarla e appena conquistata la sua fiducia le rubi la pensione You offer to help her and after having gained her trust, steal her pension money.
You steal her pension money knowing full well that by her having her hands full she won't be able to beat you on the head with her hand bag.

Your mother has just mopped the floor. You:
You enter with your muddy shoes and then as soon as she starts screaming, you beat her around the head with the mop and steal her pension money.
You tell her that you've just seen a floor mopping robot and convince her to give you her pension money and then with the proceeds go to that bar and spend it on Tequilla.
You steal her pension money while she's too busy with the domestic chores.

You've been invited out for dinner by the man/woman of your dreams.
You eat like a pig and drink like a horse and then after the dinner you expect sexual favours. When he/she refuses you burp and scratch up his/her car.
You eat like a bird and drink like an insect and play footsy with her. Then when he/she goes to the bathroom you steal his/her car.
You wait in the dark and as soon soon as he/she comes down you wack him/her around the head and steal both wallet and car. Then you make it look like you just came to the scene and you offer to take him/her to the police to file the report.

It's your best friend's birthday. You:
Forget
You forget but get forgiven by sharing your grandmother's pension money with him.
Friends?!? I have no friends.