Your best friend steals your man/woman. What do you do?
You smash in his/her head with an ice sculpture that way in an hour there will be no more evidence.
You take it humbly. You're happy for them.
You think "Who cares? I screwed him/her enough anyway.

Your teacher calls you a donkey and an idiot.
In two hours she won't be saying that after having drilled her ass with a pneumatic drill.
You didn't ask to be heard. it's her fault if she doesn't inspire.
The next time I'll try harder.

You're beaten up. What do you do?
You run to your Mum who's over-protective and she gouges out their eyes with a screwdriver.
I'll wait for the bully to be alone and then get him.
Run to the minister to ask for plasters.

Your woman/man is not in the mood...
You try again later.
You rape her/him
You take her home and seek comfort from your brother or sister.

A dumb post office employee makes you wait in line for three hours ...
You put on your nice face but play dirty.
You spit in his eye and make him use the spit to stick on your stamps.
you don't wait in line. You're too busy with the Playstation.

You're invited to participate in a beauty pagent...
You wash your genitals...it could only be a competition for the erogenous zones.
I put on my sunglasses and phone a friend to brag.
Me. The last time a dog saw me it ran away!

On the news your hear that Bush, Bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have all been killed in an attack. What do you think?
Three fuck-ups and more will come.
Finally eating beans served its purpose.
You're moved and think of your poor cat that was blown to pieces with fire crackers.

You're accused of having problems with drugs by your parents. What do you do?
I have't got problems with drugs...just the police.
I've never taken drugs...and I didn't lose at the Olympics!
It's communists propaganda!

A black guy on the tube accuses you of having bumped into him and calls you racist. How do you answer?
Racist? Me? Coming from a black man!
Oh I'm sorry! Please forgive me! Let me take you to eat a nice roasted pig! Please! It's no problem. In other words... SHUT UP YOU SWINE!
I'm sorry but it was that Chink down there...

Your favourite film is...
Gone with the Wind
The Gladiator
Clockwork Orange