What do you do after sex?
Light a cigarette and burn holes in the sheets.
Fall asleep because there's nothing better to do!
Sex? I'm a virgin!

Blind date. You're stood up:
Go around looking for a soul to console you.
Go home and masturbate like a pig that hasn't seen pig pussy for ages.
As if I'd ever get a blind date!

What do you do when you've got nothing better to do ( Like the most part of your life)?
Surf the net looking for porn that's worth my time and download films with Rocco Siffredi and Cicciolina
I do sports. Masturbation is a sport, isn't it?
I try and screw the neighbour and usually fail!

What does your non-existent brain think of Bush?
He's a Republican leader. What do you think Iam? Stupid?
Clinton was better!
Does Rocco Soffredi reprroductive organ have a name yet?

What do you think of John Kerry ?
He's a knob!
He's two knobs!
Wasn't Rocco Siffredi's knob called John Kerry?

When you have sex do you use condoms?
Yes, I don't want stinky kids around the house.
No. I don'ìt have a pussy to use them with.
No, you don't need them for anal sex!

What do you do when you wake up?
I bang my head against the wall.
I jerk off thinking about Margaret Thatcher.
I burp until the whole house is filled with the stink of my burps.

When you went to school:
I was the school bully and I bullied the kids into giving me their lunch money.
I was always beaten up and my glasses were always broken and they put the broken lenses in my eyes.
You bullied the little kids and the big kids bullied you.

You meet an ex after a long time:
Tell him/her that you miss him/her and that you're happy that he/she has fallen in love with someone, and that their bank accounts don't mean anything.
You shyly jump on him/her and get punched in the face. At least you get to touch her tits or his balls.
She sucks you dry or he licks you clean.

Do you play an instrument?
Yes, the guitar
No, but I'd like to!
Yes! I play the bassoon with my ass!