After years of being a zero you finally land a job at the supermarket. An old man starts telling you his life story. What do you do?
You listen to her and comment politely.
You tell him that you don't give a shit about his worthless life and head butt him to make yourself feel better.
You use your paper cutter to shorten his useless life and then cut him into small pieces with an electric saw and sell him as ground meat.

Your neighbour listens to Barney tapes at top volume. What do you do?
You kindly ask her if she wouldn't mind turning down the volume.
You find her dog and hang in from a pole in front of her door and ring the bell and stay to enjoy the reaction.
You ring the doorbell and when your neighbour (who's as ugly as a moose) opens it, you beat her into an indistinct mound of flesh and throw her and the stereo out of the window.

After a hard day's work you find that your neighbour has parked his car in the spot you pay for. What do you do?
You kindly knock on his door and ask him if he could move his car.
You honk until he comes out, insulting him with every known insult in the language and after that, in another language too.
Honk until he comes out and smile. Then as soon as he's in front of your car, you put it in first and flatten him. Then not happy with the result, put the car in reverse and flatten him some more. Then pick up the accumulated mess of meat from the ground, throw it on his piece of shit car, cover it with petrol and set it on fire.

Your colleague just got your promotion because he kissed your bosses ass big time! What do you do?
He obviously deserved it more than you.
Tell the rest of the staff that the colleague and your boss are lovers and spread rumours that by night they work as transvestite hookers.
You stick all the office's pencils in his ass (120 pencils) and then smash his head in with all the monitors in the office.

You're peacefully walking down the street when a dog barks at you and you shit yourself. What do you do?
Smile at the dog and apologize for having startled it.
Furiously start spitting at the dog, and throw everything you find at it.
Make a hamburger laced with rat poison, insecticide and arsenic and get him to eat it.

It's Christmas morning. You got home at 6 in the morning. Your five year old cousin comes in yelling at you to wake up. What do you do?
You wake up, give him a hug and tell him a story.
Given that it's nine o'clock, you, with your last strength, whip your alarm clock at the little pest's head.
You flip out with all the noise and masacre the whole family. With the newly found peace you go back to bed.