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     Loser test 
    A test to see whether you're really a loser.

    Is this computer yours?
    No, it's a friend's
    yes, it's mine.
    No, it's the school's.

    How do you usually get a hard on?
    Pictures of Pamela Anderson.
    I look at real girls
    Electric shock (230 V).

    If you're a girl then, who would you rather have sex with?
    Brad Pitt.
    Bill Clinton .
    Bill Gates.

    Your clothes are stained.
    No, my clothes aren't stained
    Yeah. My sweater's got a pizza stain on it
    Yes. But I don't know what it is.

    How of do you use a computer?
    A couple of times a week.
    Every day.
    All day and all night.

    Have you ever used a programming language?
    Yes. Thanks to one of my programs, this test can be run.
    I've written programs in Pascal, Basic or C++, etc.
    Yes, butr only simple HTML pages.

    It's sunny and warm. What do you do?
    I go for a walk and lie in the grass.
    I stay at home, turn on the fan and guzzle a cold Coke
    I go out but stay in the shade

    Do you wear glasses
    Yes, I do.
    I should, but I don't like them so I go around seeing very little
    No, I don't need them but I do wear lenses

    Do you drink?
    No. Of course not.
    It makes me groggy.
    No, the doctor said I couldn't.

    Do you know how the world began?
    Yes. I read it in the Bible or maybe my priest told me.
    Yes. I read a book by Claude Vorilhon.
    No. What do I care?

    Do you call erotic chat lines?
    Yes, from public phones because I don't want to get caught.
    If I call from home what harm is there?
    No. They cost too much

    How many email addresses do you have?
    More than one

    How far did you go in school?
    First level swimming certificate

    It's Friday night. What are you doing?
    I'm going to bed but not too late
    I'm going to watch some porn
    I'm going out and getting wasted

    You're bored. What do you do?
    Smoke a joint
    Turn on the computer

    How do you get to work or school?
    By bike or by foot
    Public transport

    You're in to sports. Which ones?
    Bungee-jumping, skating, rafting, survival, Thai boxing, snowboarding, etc.
    Hockey, tennis, football, basketball, etc.
    Chess, bridge, board games or card games.

    How many coffees do you drink in a day?
    I don't drink coffee
    I drink Dr. Pepper or Red Bull or lots and lots of Coke
    I drink Tourtel.

    You're on a school or business trip. What do you do?
    Read up on the destination
    Try to mingle
    Put your favourite tape in your walkman

    In your free time you:
    Go to sites that have tests that determine whether you're a loser
    Lie on sites with tests that determine whether you're a loser
    Erase your results on sites with tests that determine whether you're a loser in order for there not to be any evidence of having done tests that determine whether you're a loser

    What's a telephone?
    A thing with a numbered disk used for talking to people
    An electronic device with twelve buttons
    A device which connects to the modem

    What's the right punctuation
    I've had a magnificent day.
    I've had a **magnificent** day!!!
    I've had a magnificent day :-)

    You've woken up at at 4 am. You decide to:
    Go to the toilet
    Open the fridge
    Check email

    To avoid being infected by a virus you:
    Avoid people who sneeze or who have colds
    Never open messages entitled "Good Times".
    Use a trusted anti-virus software

    When you hear SPAM, you think:
    Spam, bim bum bam.
    Unsolicited advertising in the form of email
    I use the best mailbomber software on the market!

    Have you ever seen your screen saver?

    Look at you watch. What time is it? Choose the nearest...
    10.00 AM
    coffee break.
    3.00 PM

    What do you spend the most on?
    The computer.

    What's a Trojan?
    Hmmm....I think it's a Greek mythological horse
    A Trojan is an inhabitant of Troy a Greek city from 1200 B.C
    A Trojan is a corrupted piece of code which works from the inside of a software application (i.e.a word processor, an OS or a compiler etc).

    Do you note star positions in your free time?
    No, I don't
    Yes, but only when I'm drunk
    Yes. I do it a lot with some friends of mine.

    Do you mend your glasses with sticky tape when they break?
    I don't wear glasses
    No, but I think I should start. There are certain guys that seem to enjoy breaking them.

    What watch do you wear?
    I don't
    I have a watch that also allows me to check my email.
    I have a watch with a calculator

    What kind of shoes do you wear?
    Nike, Asics, Reebok or similar

    send to
    a friend


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