Is this computer yours?
No, it's a friend's
yes, it's mine.
No, it's the school's.

How do you usually get a hard on?
Pictures of Pamela Anderson.
I look at real girls
Electric shock (230 V).

If you're a girl then, who would you rather have sex with?
Brad Pitt.
Bill Clinton .
Bill Gates.

Your clothes are stained.
No, my clothes aren't stained
Yeah. My sweater's got a pizza stain on it
Yes. But I don't know what it is.

How of do you use a computer?
A couple of times a week.
Every day.
All day and all night.

Have you ever used a programming language?
Yes. Thanks to one of my programs, this test can be run.
I've written programs in Pascal, Basic or C++, etc.
Yes, butr only simple HTML pages.

It's sunny and warm. What do you do?
I go for a walk and lie in the grass.
I stay at home, turn on the fan and guzzle a cold Coke
I go out but stay in the shade

Do you wear glasses
Yes, I do.
I should, but I don't like them so I go around seeing very little
No, I don't need them but I do wear lenses

Do you drink?
No. Of course not.
It makes me groggy.
No, the doctor said I couldn't.

Do you know how the world began?
Yes. I read it in the Bible or maybe my priest told me.
Yes. I read a book by Claude Vorilhon.
No. What do I care?

Do you call erotic chat lines?
Yes, from public phones because I don't want to get caught.
If I call from home what harm is there?
No. They cost too much

How many email addresses do you have?
None
One
More than one

How far did you go in school?
Nursery
Elementary
First level swimming certificate

It's Friday night. What are you doing?
I'm going to bed but not too late
I'm going to watch some porn
I'm going out and getting wasted

You're bored. What do you do?
Smoke a joint
Turn on the computer
Read

How do you get to work or school?
By bike or by foot
Car
Public transport

You're in to sports. Which ones?
Bungee-jumping, skating, rafting, survival, Thai boxing, snowboarding, etc.
Hockey, tennis, football, basketball, etc.
Chess, bridge, board games or card games.

How many coffees do you drink in a day?
I don't drink coffee
I drink Dr. Pepper or Red Bull or lots and lots of Coke
I drink Tourtel.

You're on a school or business trip. What do you do?
Read up on the destination
Try to mingle
Put your favourite tape in your walkman

In your free time you:
Go to sites that have tests that determine whether you're a loser
Lie on sites with tests that determine whether you're a loser
Erase your results on sites with tests that determine whether you're a loser in order for there not to be any evidence of having done tests that determine whether you're a loser

What's a telephone?
A thing with a numbered disk used for talking to people
An electronic device with twelve buttons
A device which connects to the modem

What's the right punctuation
I've had a magnificent day.
I've had a **magnificent** day!!!
I've had a magnificent day :-)

You've woken up at at 4 am. You decide to:
Go to the toilet
Open the fridge
Check email

To avoid being infected by a virus you:
Avoid people who sneeze or who have colds
Never open messages entitled "Good Times".
Use a trusted anti-virus software

When you hear SPAM, you think:
Spam, bim bum bam.
Unsolicited advertising in the form of email
I use the best mailbomber software on the market!

Have you ever seen your screen saver?
Yes
No

Look at you watch. What time is it? Choose the nearest...
10.00 AM
coffee break.
3.00 PM

What do you spend the most on?
Car
Partner
The computer.

What's a Trojan?
Hmmm....I think it's a Greek mythological horse
A Trojan is an inhabitant of Troy a Greek city from 1200 B.C
A Trojan is a corrupted piece of code which works from the inside of a software application (i.e.a word processor, an OS or a compiler etc).

Do you note star positions in your free time?
No, I don't
Yes, but only when I'm drunk
Yes. I do it a lot with some friends of mine.

Do you mend your glasses with sticky tape when they break?
I don't wear glasses
Yeah!
No, but I think I should start. There are certain guys that seem to enjoy breaking them.

What watch do you wear?
I don't
I have a watch that also allows me to check my email.
I have a watch with a calculator

What kind of shoes do you wear?
Nike, Asics, Reebok or similar
Boots
Teva