Your best friend's girlfriend calls you to talk about a problem she has with her partner.
Go to her. Listen. Then after having reassured her go back home like a good friend.
You go off into a philosophical rant and then after saying good night you go home.
You race to her house and after having listened to her, try to get her into bed to cheer her up.

You're driving around with a girl and you get lost.
You stop at a pub and ask for directions.
You take out your map from the glove box and tell her that everything's going to be alright.
You find the nearest exit and look for a isolated place to get it on.

You meet a girl in a chat.
You try and set a date to meet and screw.
You ask her how much she goes to church.
You ask her if she's read the latest Mickey Mouse comic book.

You meet your law professor's daughter.
You stop her because she's hot and you want to do her.
You stop her and ask her whether she knows anything about the homework for the day after.
You stop her and start quoting Newton convinced that he had something to do with law.

Your dad gives you a new car for your birthday.
You go out to show off your new wheels to the girl that everyone wants.
You thank him but decline his gift claiming that it pollutes.
Buy your friends the rounds at the pub.

You find 500 pounds on the ground.
You discretely pick it up and walk awa whistling.
You pick it up and ask passers-by if they're missing any money.
You pocket it but then consumed by guilt donate it to the church.

You see a cute girl at a party.
You get her drinks and fill her with compliments.
You ask her where the bathroom is.
You "Accidentally" spill your drink on her shirt and help her clean it.

Your neighbour's dog shits on your doorstep
You kill it.
You pick it up with a little shovel and throw it away quietly.
You insult your neighbour after having beaten the dog with a stick.

Your girlfriend dumps you for a friend of yours.
Kick both their asses.
Convince yourself that it was destiny and get over it.
You're happy for both of them and you wish them all the luck (The friendship remains intact).

You're taking a shower when the doorbell rings.
Start screaming insults and go check who it is.
You open the door. It's a hot girl so you invite her in.
You go and open the door with a Donald Duck bath robe and a shower cap on.