You're in the front row at school and you need to fart. What do you do?
You keep it in at the cost of sitting in agony for the whole five hours.
You let it rip between ass and chair causing as much noise possible. If the teacher smells something, you don't care.
You let it go in pieces hoping that each segment of the fart doesn't smell.

You're in a friend's car who's all uptight about farting. What do you?
You let it go anyway. He's going to have to get used to it anyway. And if he doesn't, it's not your problem.
You open the window, stick your ass out and let it rip. You feel sorry for your friend!
You hold them in because the last ones were too bad.

You're moshing at A System of a Down concert and you've got one cooking. What do you do?
The music's loud so I might as well let it out. For my fellow moshers...tough luck.
I hold it in. With the heat and the humidity it will surely expand to great waves of foul stench. I'll save face.
I aim it in the opposite direction passing it off as someone else's.

You're at mass and you have to shit therefore your farts smell like death. What do you?
I'll hold them in. It's too holy to unleash hell stink here.
I'll fart and let destiny choose my punishment.
I'll wait for a moment's silence, roll up the hymn sheet and fart down it creating the loudest possible amplification for my divine intestinal creation.

You're out for dinner with your parents and their friends. You need to fart. What do you do?
I'll fart and blame it on the fat woman who just walked past.
As usual, I'll hold it in. This is an importnat dinner after all.
I'll fart. When they all turn to me, I'll ask "Has it never happened to you?".

You're with friends. You need to fart. You:
Fart. You're with friends. You can laugh about these kinds of things.
Hold it. You don't even think about it. They could be disgusted and exclude you from the gang.
Excuse yourself and then let it rip...if you have the time.

You're with someone you really want something to happen with but you need to fart. What do you do?
I'll fart. If this is meant to be, the person will have to get used to my odours.
I won't fart. I'll wait until we're married. That way they'll accept my ass too.
I'll ask "May I fart please? I've had to since we came in".

You're with your Gym teacher and she's flirting quite alot. You need to fart. What do you do?
Well, first I'll let her seduce me and do whatever she has in mind. Then when I'm alone, I'll fart.
I'll ask her whether I can fart but far from her.
I'll fart...it happens to women too.

You're in the Principle's office because you harrassed your English teacher but all of a sudden you feel a big fart cooking inside. You:
You fart in front of the Principle. If they've got to write the whole thing you might as well give them the whole thing.
Hold it in hoping that it will earn me some respect from the Principle who'll let me stay at school.
Hold it in. It'll be a real stinker. It'll burn holes in the Principle's chair.

You're bout to do it with a class mate. It's both your first time. You need to fart. What do you do?
Well first I'll finish and then fart.
I'll hold it in. If I fart it'll be the first and last time with her.
I'll let it rip immediately, maybe silently. If she smells something, I'll tell her that the smell came from her. It's her first time. She'll believe me.