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     Are you horny or a Saint 
    If a little voice in your head has ever screamed at you because you jack off too much this test will help you in discerning whether you're a:

    Horny animal
    A normal man
    A computer geek
    A choir boy

    Concentrate! Begin!

    You wake up. What did you dream of?
    I was tied to a bed and three women were screwing me at the same time.
    I was driving the new Ferrari at the Monza Grand Prix (which I won) and after I had sex with a hot chick with long legs.
    I was playing computer games while I was watching Star Trek.
    I saw Jesus who told me the meaning of life.

    You got to the toilet and you look down. What do you see?
    My banana that's standing at attention and ready for action.
    A Playboy that's opened to the only article in the entire magazine.
    An instruction book for a Playstation 2.
    The scars on my feet from when I crucified myself last year.

    You have half an hour before you have to go out and meet friends. What do you do?
    I go up to my room, take out the binoculars and watch my neighbour having a shower while flogging my bishop until he pukes.
    I le on my bed and watch a porn
    Duh...I go and check out Pokemon card prices on Ebay.
    I lie on my bed and read the first twent books from the Bible.

    You're about to get into an elevator when you see a great lookng girl that's already in. What do you do?
    You go in like a flash and start pushing all the buttons as fast as you can causing the elevator to stop. You complain about the heat and start taking your clothes off and suggest that she do the same.
    You go in and start chatting her up. You fake falling and grope her tit ( you never know, she may stuff her bra).
    You ask her whether she saw Star Trek two days ago
    She looks like the type of girl who'd do it anywhere. You keep your distance and watch her from the corner of your eye.

    You're on the bus. There's a girl next to you who you think isn't wearing panties. What do you do?
    You angle a mirror to get the best angle between her legs, take out your disposable camera and take as many pictures as you can.
    You go up to her and ask he what would happen if the wind blew up her skirt like that film with Marylin Monroe whose title you just can't remember.
    I would sniff her like a mouse with cheese
    I would call her a whore and condemn her to hell with my trustworthy Bible in front of everyone.

    You shake a colleagues hand but by mistake you touch one of her breasts. What do you do?
    You try and tidy up the damage by hugging her and groping her ass while saying the dirtiest things possibly known to man.
    You laugh and say "Don't worry they're nice and firm".
    You say "I won't wash my hand for 3...365 days.
    You scream "AAAAAAAAH! SACRILEGE!!!! I will cut off the guilty hand with a paper cutter!"

    You're in the bathroom and you get a hard on. What do you do?
    You open up your brief case, choose the desired sexual toy and proceed to pleasure yourself like a pig for the next three hours. When your colleagues ask you where you've been you tell them that they're all crazy and that you've been working at your desk.
    I beat it a few times to keep it happy and then do up my trousers. Looking down I notice that there's an obvious bulge in the zipper area and decide to go and talk to the new secretary.
    I think about Star Trek episode 365 when Spock falls in love with that alien with three tits.
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I jump into a marathon of Ave Marias and Our Fathers that lasts for three hours and then go into a full on recital of the rosaries.

    Close your eyes. What's the first thing you see?
    My neighbour having sex with her twin sister on my kitchen table.
    An exotic dancer
    A Pentium 4, 2.40 Ghz processor, 1.525V Max., with a 512KB memory cache
    The affreschi of Jesus' birth

    You're in a bar. There's a drunk girl next to you. What do you do?
    I wait until she goes to the bathroom, follow her and get her to give me a blow job.
    I talk to her and ask her if she wants me to take her home.
    I run to the bathroom because I'm sweating like a pig and I've just jizzed in my pants.
    I start reciting verses from the Bible and condemn her to hell.

    SYou're in your bed and you get a hard on. What do you do?
    I wank until my cock hurts
    I jack off once and go to sleep with a smile on my face.
    I turn on Star Trek episode 269 with the Klingon girl with nice tits
    I bang my head against the wall so hard that my skull splits open. Now I've got more important things to think about.

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